The One with AsianParents.

70-75% of Lynbrook High School's Student body is Asian, so when I say this, everyone can Empathize.

My parents are so fucking annoying, they believe that through College Applications, School, Water Polo, and SATS they have to know about my EVERY move. Honestly this is so ridiculous, I hate how this affects me, honestly I just wanna say, FUCK MY PARENTS.... i don't want to admit it but I have.
Concern, being worry-some, fine its normal, but these irrational emotions turn into Controlling, Bitchy and Whiny. You don't need to know where I am, 24/7 because honestly most of the time, I'm FIVE FUCKING FEET AWAY.

I hate being cared about.

The One with Guilt

You ever get that feeling when you feel like you're eating your stomach. When you feel as if you have one finger up as the weight of your conscious bears down onto you. You feel as if your heart, as black as the quad today, is clenching as you realize you might hurt those around you.

Someone you care about so much, someone you know will take care of you, as you defile their car. I'm so sorry I can't be there for you this week. I'm so sorry for anything I do. You're like a brother to me man, and even though I've only known you known you for a month i can't believe all the shit we already went through together.

I really hope you don't read this because
its killing me.

(props to Christine Chen for the Picture)

One-oh forever

The One Where I Know Tomorrow Will Be Better.

Rough Day, Rough Week, Rough Month

For my four years of being a yearbook student, four years of the same old routine. Things change. Finding you guys is probably one of the best things to happen to me, especially during times like this. Its like play a game except you know that you'll automatically win. I thank god everyday for you guys.

Shroom head- Honestly, I love you man. I'll stop making fun of you, sorry its a bad habit. You're one the coolest guys I know right now and I know that after SATs/ college apps it'll be sick. Thanks for caring about me so much.

Staff Sargent- Sometimes life is tough, but honestly if you think of it optimistically, junior year is the worst time if your life and welcome to rock bottom. If you need someone man, I'm here. I remember when we first met I was like this kid is effing awesome.

Water Bison- You're hella cool and car shopping with you is a plus. Even though you get spoiled, you work for it . I hella admire that. You're hella chill and hanging out with you is so much fun. Even though you're hella working right now its a good mindset.

" "- man, I don't even know what to call you anymore. We've gone through so much shit together and honestly I care about you so much. Sorry if I mom you or lecture you its for a good reason. I'm so happy I met you, however the only regret is that I didn't meet you sooner. Besties for fucking life.

You guys make me realize that if we can get through this time together, we can make it through anything. I wish I met all of you guys sooner, you're all an escape in this crappy time of my life.

The One Where I Feel It in My Bones

Tonight made me realize what I've been missing
Something as mediocre as a drive and dinner made me realize,
how perfect we are for each other.

Liking the same songs
made me feel it in my bones
Going to Tapex
made me feel like me again

Honestly, with you its good
even though I complain about peoples history
Every fight is a battle won
Every rude remark is a lesson learned
Every hangout
makes me feel it in my bones.

Thanks for your perseverance
Thanks for your advice
Thanks for making me realize.

The one where I Burn Bank

I have an addiction,
I like to frequently make the numbers in my bank statement drop

fact: In 2 days, I spent $240.00.

Its sickening, first its : please slide card, and with a flick of your pen/ stylus you walk out with a new shirt, jacket, shoes or scarf. Its nice, its empowering until your parents find out.

I'm making a statement where
1. no shopping till Black Friday
2. Eating out only OK once a week
3. $20 allowance in one week

I'm not blaming anyone for my disgusting spending, its atrocious. But is it a way we relieve stress? Do we feel better about spending the $3.25 for the Pearl Milk Tea than drinking it? I have no idea but making around $9.00 an hour and spending $70.00 on a jacket, man. Everytime i see that jacket, its full of sweat and that fake smile i put on when i see the person walk in to pay $5.00 for that smoothie.

If you hang out with me, don't let me give up the plastic.
Plastic kills.

The One where the stress builds

SATS, ACTS, AP Testing

Theses are all the reasons why we developed the phrase. eff my life.

Seriously though, EFF MY LIFE. In one hand I have SATS, in the other i have AP LIT,and in one ear i have my parents and in the other i have Remember Me- Deadmau5 going off.

Are we gonna be the generation that tells our kids... when i was kid, we didn't go fishing, we didn't go to the park. We had really intimate relationships with our TI89s and Calculus BC books. My best friends name was Barron's and my girlfriends name is Princeton Review. Sigh, pathetic.

Honestly, what are we getting out of this, why do we define the shittiest generation in the world?! I don't know but we definitely will not save the planet, we probably wont get world peace, we and might not live to see 65.

Dear College Admissions: Fuck you, you have no idea what you do to children, you deprive us of 18 years of our lives. Yes, at your school you develop an atmosphere for future success, however i can tell you, if this persists, there will be no future generation, Everyone will lock themselves in their rooms, sit with that one light and study into the night. Whether it be SATS or ACTS or AP tests thanks college. When the rejection letter comes, wish me luck in the future because you've ruined it.

Up until this point, Arrogance is bliss
Bliss is defined by intelligent people
Arrogance is intelligence.

The one with Forgive and Forget

Forgive, Forget, its a simple anaphora...

But does it really apply to daily life? Do we actually follow this rule? We do. Everyone has history, whether it be a date with that girl that is now a slut, or those issues with drugs, or that one time you cheated. Its history.

You see this cute girl avidly studying, and you ask her how she is. You find that shes really nice and cute. however, your friend looks at you with the most grotesque expression. she looks at you "do you know who that is?" and you shake your head cluelessly. Thats the girl that ***********. You act appalled and forget...her.

In all truth, we've all judged, as wrong and taboo as it is, we've all done it. Either what the fuck is she wearing, or why is he such an ass. Its not easy to forget, nor is it easy to forgive. Honestly I cant, every time I see the girl clinging onto another guy I think, 2 months max.

We all have history, the group at the top of the quad, we were the cool kids, the ones that hung out at the miller middle school flag pole. The ones that use to carry around AE bags, and the ones that used to gossip about others. The one thing that I cannot stand is, why are we so divided, why can we not be one? But then i figured it out, its history.

The One with Pain

Why has this always been an issue? Is this what humanity has come to? Can I advocate John Locke and his good belief of people? I don't understand. I tried and honestly tried to invest my trust like that stock market game. I believed that Google would have a gain, come on its Google! But slowly the earnings report comes and the $400 stock turns to ash.

I'm not mad, or actually I am. I don't know how I should feel. If I forgive and forget people take advantage of that. If I'm mad, I know its not my nature and with each cold stare, with each blinding disposition I think of the warm hug we could embrace. Every time I think I'm at fault, its my fault for going into your business, or is it fault for trusting you? Because you remember you have to earn it. I honestly thought that life couldn't be this complicated with you. I thought that we could talk the night away. I thought that we could just sit in Verde and stare off into space, but in the end it'll make sense.



Whatever. Ill get over it.
Who cares, it's just a fight
Its alright, it's just living fucking life.

The One with Moving Forward

At some point in life we have to take a leap of faith. Yes, haha a leap of faith. I don't mean to sound like your fourth grade teacher, but hey, shes there for a reason.

The leap of faith to say "I don't like what you're doing" or the one to say" Will you go to Homecoming with me?" but that's too cliche. We as people have to move on. but not be detached. This weekend was a sufficient opening up, meeting all these great people, hanging out with the "fuckbag"

I thought to myself, life can hand you lemons, but you don't have to take them. People can give you shit, but you are the only one that can make yourself feel inferior.

But I'm sorry. After six years, you've stood by my side. Through the tears, the stress, and the title of annoying-est thing in the whole world. You deserve better.