Fin

It was good while it lasted,

I'm a tumblr-whore.

calvinwang.tumblr.com

The One With Fresh Pine, A Wood Burning Fire, and A Birthday Hat

My Eyes would slowly peer open, the clock would read 6:00 AM and the sheets would fly off of my bed and my footsteps would thunder and echo down the hallways. Suddenly a shredding of paper would be heard and soon a loud "yes!!!" would reverberate the house.

This year it's different, re-connecting with my faith, this year isn't going to be about me, this year isn't going to be about family, this year is going to be the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. And to celebrate his birthday I'm going to re-acknowledge my blessings and shortfalls, and realize that this is all God's Will.

Everyone that I met in the recent months is a blessing, Wilson, Jason, Timmy, and Debbie you all mean so much to me. And that special someone, you make me realize a new definition for happiness. I'm going to miss you.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

The One with Gambling

In my whole high school career, I've searched for friends that can actually see me for who I am, this year I just got sick of playing a character at school. I got sick of developing my character, I got sick of having my life story written by others. In light of this I found somewhere I truly felt welcomed, I found the place I had been looking for my whole life.

They say that people learn from past mistakes, I hope I am one of those people. Until you are on the firing line, with the barrel of an AK-47 pointed at your face, you gaze into the spiraled edges and you reflect, was it all really worth it? Am I really willing to risk it all. All in dealer... All in?

Situation one, the card turns up, You have a 21, house loses. You have doubled your earnings. You have everything that you care about most, and more. That warm feeling of being cared about, that warm feeling of basking within the compassion of others.

Situation two, the reflex of the finger gently latches on the the "C" shaped trigger and a the bang comes. Painless, quick, some might even say refreshing. You leave everything you have, once again a void in your heart, you are once again lost, in search of what you spent four years looking for. Searching once again for something that cannot be found.

People gamble because everyone is a natural optimist, they believe that they can be that one person that hits the jackpot. Theres a fine line between greed and gambling. I am really wiling to risk it all for more?

The One with Isolation

"please leave your voicemail for ***-****"

"click"

As the horizon of the worst week of our academic career once again encroaches us, we all look at each other with the most volatile and unnatural perspectives. Its disgusting how we are, its sad that in six months, more students have killed themselves at the same intersection than off the golden gate bridge in a year.

These next two weeks, a fluctuation of emotion will show, everything from tears to ecstasy. But I encourage you to be that shoulder to lean on, to be that person of consolidation, let this be your real acts of kindness week. Lets strain the conditions of social disparity and come together as one.

This year during the holiday season, don't be one to define your season with the gifts you receive, as we should all define it as who we spend it with. What we get from each other should only be fraction of the representation of what we mean to each other, not the definition of what you mean to me.

Today be that person to answer that hope, be that person to lift someones spirits. the reason we form memories is because while we reminisce it warms our hearts and fills us once again with dreams and aspirations.

"In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the dew of little things the heart finds it’s morning and is refreshed." - Anonymous

The One With the OverReaction

Relationships can be difficult, and everyone knows that. Between friends, girl/boy friend etc. However, the hardest one from personal experience is family. Revolving around the hierarchy of the father being ontop, I can say that many of us experience this oppression.

I can say for one thing that relationships are a major factor to cause you to change, not the environment. We realize emotions of envy, greed or even pity for the people around us. These emotions cause us to act in light of their perspectives. Its called conformity.

My relationship with my family is neither good nor bad, it causes me to rely heavily on friends. This is a different trust that cannot be symbolized by a retreat activity of someone falling in the hands of their friends, it can most accurately be described as a foundation. When the a foundation crumbles, the weight is dispersed among others around them. Often times when meeting new people, it is a weight I am afraid they cannot carry.

Society as a whole is the definition of the human condition, the epitome of pop culture and Andy Warhol paintings. Society defines people, and people are defined by relationships. Is the human condition all one big relationship?

I had a great break, however it ended bitterly.

The One with Joy, Friends & Family

We all sit around the brazen fireplace,

enjoying our spoils and honestly I think to myself what am I thankful for?

I don't really have a list, but from I am thankful for life.

it might be a hassle to live sometimes, but we can all retreat

to the love and happiness of our

friends.

However:

the ones that provide for you, the ones that feed

clothe, unconditionally love you

the ones that always see the silver lining

family.

We've all made mistakes in life

whether it be a lie we told

or a test we cheated on.

There is one always to forgive us.

God.

I hope everyone has had a great thanksgiving.

I hope everyone has had a good session of retail therapy

Happy Holidays Everyone.

The One With Reasoning

I wish things were the same way they used to be.

Untouched by the effects of school

Not effected by the troubles of drama

left alone by those who trespass

I hope this isn't the end

I just hope its a new beginning.

After all, everything happens for a reason.

Faith.